i'm coming slow but speeding...

Friday, September 30, 2005

okay sean, here it is. this is the only time i'm going to spell this out for you, so you'd better be all ears.

i miss my friend. yes, that means you, sean.
i hate having to see you at work for two reasons. 1. i hate things being ackward for both of us when we're both working, and 2. because i want to actually talk to you, but its not that easy anymore
i screwed up. i shouldnt have given you that ultimatum.
you screwed up too though.
i am sorry if i made you angry/depressed/etc... but bear in mind what you've done to me. im not saying that justifies it at all. what i AM saying is that we need to stop hurting each other, especially if we care as much as we claim.
i should have brought dave with me to saratoga. maybe then, we could have gotten whatever is between us worked out like normal people would have.
i want to start talking to you again, but i honestly dont know how. im afraid that you're mad at me still, even though i dont even know what to apologize for.
i am trying to stop being so damn stubborn. meet me halfway on this and maybe we can salvage that friendship you told me you cared so much about. i think it's worth the try.

there. i cant think of anything else to say right now. but this has been keeping me up tonight. i'm honestly afraid to work with you this weekend.

if you want to try to be friends again, i am willing to try.

jules was lost in thought at 2:23 AM
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Saturday, September 24, 2005

last night.
dinner with the entire hilltop suites crew. pink shutters. more pink shutters. back to hilltop suites to find a party going on in the guys' room. back to hilltop apartments to wait out party. monty python and the holy grail. sleep.
today.
wake up. breakfast. cleaning. walk around campus. now offto margarita's, but only because i'm broke :
i'll expound upon all this later, but for now i have to go to work. on the only saturday i've had off all year. with beautiful weather like this. work sucks, but i digress

jules was lost in thought at 3:26 PM
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Friday, September 23, 2005

i just took this quiz online entitled "The Zodiac Match Test", the purpose of which is to determine which zodiac sign i am most compatible with.....

julieanna, the best Zodiac Match for your personality is Taurus

Taurus, the Bull (April 21 to May 21): This warmhearted and determined partner is just your type. Initially, a Taurus may catch your eye with a romantic gesture or their penchant for having a good time. But as you get to know them, you're even more likely to be drawn to your Taurean's unwavering devotion and dedication. People born under this sign typically know what they want out of life and stick by the decisions they've made. This devotion to their own truths can make members of this sign seem stubborn or critical at times. However, know that most Taureans are also sentimental types who like to focus on their romantic relationships. In the bedroom, you're apt to find that the Bull is a creative and expressive lover with a high sex drive. It's just another aspect of their vital nature, one that finds pleasure in everyday things and has an eye for beauty.

gee, do i know anyone whose birthday falls between April 21 and May 21? one comes to mind....

jules was lost in thought at 1:38 AM
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Thursday, September 22, 2005

my personal time quota has been suffering greatly. normally, if i need some time in my own head, i would go for a drive for an hour or two. that requires money, and currently all my money is being funneling into my refrigerator. after all, last i checked, food is mildly important.
my class and work schedules leave me little time to relax, and even less time to think. i think i might kill someone (cough krys cough) by the end of this semester.
in the precious few moments of mental solitude i have found walking to classes and speeding to work, i have realized some things. i have not been giving myself enough time for myself. as selfish as that sounds, i have been so busy focusing on school, work, friends, my foot, that i have forgotten to take care of me. what i wouldnt give for one day, just one day free of any responsibilities, where i could fill my tank and just cruise, windows rolled down music playing and me alone.
ive made some quasi-revelations in my head as of late. i've danced around some of them too long, so i'm going to get a few of them off of my chest now. even though it'd be more effective to actually talk this out with the people they're applicable to, i have to take small steps. after all, if you know me at all, you've undoubtedly realized im a very proud girl, even if i try to deny it.

upon more careful consideration, i'm only going to mention the one big thing that's been racking my conscious.

i miss my friend. yes, sean, i'm talking about you. if you are reading this, then i want to reconcile things with you, i just don't know how to at this point...

i realize what i am now to proud to mention... to you
fiona apple "never is a promise"

jules was lost in thought at 2:22 AM
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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

last week was, well an interesting week. let's see....

thursday, i visited mikey, moz, and anna in their new apartment in new britain. as always, it was splendid to see all of them, even if the going was a bit rocky to start. afterwards, i dropped by ryan's house and played need for speed with him and wody til like 2am

friday :D... what was originally intended to be a nice chill evening turned into quite a few people having a 2 hour drunken dance party. OH i got the honor of the first RA call of the year... woohoo! since there was a lot [of drinking] going on that night, it'd be easier to show you pictures as opposed to attempting to recount the details..... go to my webshots and click on vanniepants's page... one of her albums has friday night's festivities. just be forewarned there are some SCARY pics in there of me. i keep forgetting the "no pictures of julie drinking" rule. meh, it happens, i suppose.

saturday: went home and worked, which was a suprisingly pleasant time. lauren and i went to eat at the Wood-N-Tap afterwards, then our usual drive. something very peculiar/terrifying happened to me at 4:30ish that morning, but telling about it here doesnt do the story justice. ask me if you havent already heard about my uber-creepy experience.

sunday: worked at bertucci's in the AM... also a suprisingly good time. im not gonna lie, i was all sorts ofa nervous wreck when i knew sean was coming in, because i figured things would be ackward, as always, so, yeah... i miss my friend. anyway, i digress. sunday PM was closing at margarita's. nothing quite like having your break between your two jobs be the drive from one to the other. after work, i visited with pick, matt, and brad at the suites, which is always nice.

so yeah, thats about it, i think.

jules was lost in thought at 2:35 AM
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Monday, September 19, 2005

Bold the ones you've seen from the list of the top 250 movies of all time according to the voters at IMDB.com.

1. Godfather, The (1972)
2. Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)
3. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003)
4. Godfather: Part II, The (1974)
5. Schindler's List (1993)
6. Shichinin no samurai (1954)
7. Casablanca (1942)
8. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
9. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001)
10. Star Wars (1977)
11. Citizen Kane (1941)
12. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
13. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
14. Rear Window (1954)
15. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
16. Pulp Fiction (1994)
17. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
18. Usual Suspects, The (1995)
19. Memento (2000)
20. North by Northwest (1959)
21. Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il (1966)
22. 12 Angry Men (1957)
23. Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
24. Psycho (1960)
25. Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le (2001)
26. It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
27. Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)
28. Cidade de Deus (2002)
29. Goodfellas (1990)
30. American Beauty (1999)
31. Sunset Blvd. (1950)
32. Vertigo (1958)
33. C'era una volta il West (1968)
34. Matrix, The (1999)
35. Apocalypse Now (1979)
36. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
37. Pianist, The (2002)
38. Paths of Glory (1957)
39. Third Man, The (1949)
40. Taxi Driver (1976)
41. Fight Club (1999)
42. Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
43. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
44. Some Like It Hot (1959)
45. Double Indemnity (1944)
46. Boot, Das (1981)
47. Singin' in the Rain (1952)
48. Chinatown (1974)
49. L.A. Confidential (1997)
50. M (1931)
51. Maltese Falcon, The (1941)
52. Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957)
53. Requiem for a Dream (2000)
54. All About Eve (1950)
55. Se7en (1995)
56. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
57. Rashômon (1950)
58. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
59. Raging Bull (1980)
60. Alien (1979)
61. Wizard of Oz, The (1939)
62. American History X (1998)
63. Léon (1994)
64. Sting, The (1973)
65. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
66. Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948)
67. Manchurian Candidate, The (1962)
68. Vita è bella, La (1997)
69. Touch of Evil (1958)
70. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
71. Finding Nemo (2003)
72. Reservoir Dogs (1992)
73. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
74. Modern Times (1936)
75. Clockwork Orange, A (1971)
76. Great Escape, The (1963)
77. Amadeus (1984)
78. Ran (1985)
79. On the Waterfront (1954)
80. Annie Hall (1977)
81. Jaws (1975)
82. Wo hu cang long (2000)
83. Apartment, The (1960)
84. Braveheart (1995)
85. High Noon (1952)
86. Metropolis (1927)
87. Aliens (1986)
88. Fargo (1996)
89. Shining, The (1980)
90. Strangers on a Train (1951)
91. City Lights (1931)
92. Blade Runner (1982)
93. Sixth Sense, The (1999)
94. Donnie Darko (2001)
95. General, The (1927)
96. Sjunde inseglet, Det (1957)
97. Great Dictator, The (1940)
98. Duck Soup (1933)
99. Nuovo cinema Paradiso (1989)
100. Princess Bride, The (1987)
101. Mononoke-hime (1997)
102. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
103. Rebecca (1940)
104. Notorious (1946)
105. Best Years of Our Lives, The (1946)
106. Yojimbo (1961)
107. Ladri di biciclette (1948)
108. Big Sleep, The (1946)
109. Lola rennt (1998)
110. Toy Story 2 (1999)
111. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
112. Patton (1970)
113. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
114. It Happened One Night (1934)
115. Graduate, The (1967)
116. Dogville (2003)
117. Forrest Gump (1994)
118. Deer Hunter, The (1978)
119. Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
120. Glory (1989)
121. Manhattan (1979)
122. Mystic River (2003)
123. Philadelphia Story, The (1940)
124. Cool Hand Luke (1967)
125. Once Upon a Time in America (1984)
126. Searchers, The (1956)
127. African Queen, The (1951)
128. Unforgiven (1992)
129. Ben-Hur (1959)
130. Green Mile, The (1999)
131. Hable con ella (2002)
132. Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
133. Bringing Up Baby (1938)
134. Elephant Man, The (1980)
135. Stalag 17 (1953)
136. Grapes of Wrath, The (1940)
137. Shrek (2001)
138. Arsenic and Old Lace (1944)
139. Night of the Hunter, The (1955)
140. Smultronstället (1957)
141. Straight Story, The (1999)
142. Gone with the Wind (1939)
143. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
144. Christmas Story, A (1983)
145. Back to the Future (1985)
146. Wild Bunch, The (1969)
147. Platoon (1986)
148. Amores perros (2000)
149. All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
150. Hustler, The (1961)
151. Lost in Translation (2003)
152. Spider-Man 2 (2004)
153. Young Frankenstein (1974)
154. Adventures of Robin Hood, The (1938)
155. Gold Rush, The (1925)
156. His Girl Friday (1940)
157. Die Hard (1988)
158. Bronenosets Potyomkin (1925)
159. Monsters, Inc. (2001)
160. Life of Brian (1979)
161. Quatre cents coups, Les (1959)
162. Grande illusion, La (1937)
163. Spartacus (1960)
164. Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, The (1962)
165. Witness for the Prosecution (1957)
166. Charade (1963)
167. Ying xiong (2002)
168. Gladiator (2000)
169. Festen (1998)
170. Sling Blade (1996)
171. Roman Holiday (1953)
172. Conversation, The (1974)
173. Hotaru no haka (1988)
174. Toy Story (1995)
175. Magnolia (1999)
176. Almost Famous (2000)
177. Night at the Opera, A (1935)
178. Day the Earth Stood Still, The (1951)
179. Trois couleurs: Rouge (1994)
180. Streetcar Named Desire, A (1951)
181. Ed Wood (1994)
182. All the President's Men (1976)
183. To Be or Not to Be (1942)
184. Insider, The (1999)
185. Brazil (1985)
186. Killing, The (1956)
187. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
188. Shadow of a Doubt (1943)
189. 21 Grams (2003)
190. Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)
191. Being John Malkovich (1999)
192. Exorcist, The (1973)
193. Mulholland Dr. (2001)
194. Dog Day Afternoon (1975)
195. Harvey (1950)
196. Stand by Me (1986)
197. Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922)
198. Gandhi (1982)
199. Twelve Monkeys (1995)
200. Big Fish (2003)
201. Terminator, The (1984)
202. Trainspotting (1996)
203. Ikiru (1952)
204. Groundhog Day (1993)
205. Lion in Winter, The (1968)
206. This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
207. Passion de Jeanne d'Arc, La (1928)
208. In America (2002)
209. Miller's Crossing (1990)
210. Right Stuff, The (1983)
211. 8½ (1963)
212. Whale Rider (2002)
213. Strada, La (1954)
214. Rain Man (1988)
215. Laura (1944)
216. Network (1976)
217. Adaptation. (2002)
218. King Kong (1933)
219. Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
220. 39 Steps, The (1935)
221. Snatch. (2000)
222. Midnight Cowboy (1969)
223. Stagecoach (1939)
224. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)
225. X2 (2003)
226. Big Lebowski, The (1998)
227. In the Heat of the Night (1967)
228. Thin Man, The (1934)
229. Rio Bravo (1959)
230. Untouchables, The (1987)
231. Others, The (2001)
232. Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans (1927)
233. Planet of the Apes (1968)
234. Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
235. Die xue shuang xiong (1989)
236. Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)
237. Beauty and the Beast (1991)
238. Traffic (2000)
239. Red River (1948)
240. Minority Report (2002)
241. Sleuth (1972)
242. Persona (1966)
243. Enfants du paradis, Les (1945)
244. Sullivan's Travels (1941)
245. Being There (1979)
246. Fantasia (1940)
247. Todo sobre mi madre (1999)
248. Good Will Hunting (1997)
249. Fanny och Alexander (1982)
250. Heat (1995)

so let's see...129 of the 250. 52%. dayum i'm good :p
AND i managed to waste 21 minutes. woot.

jules was lost in thought at 4:51 AM
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Friday, September 09, 2005

tonight was quite a good night, if i do say so.

went to dinner with lauren for the first time in like 3 weeks. it was horribly overdue. we went to one of our usual haunts, the macaroni grill in west hartford.
"mmmm can i have HIM for dessert?"
"well, she did send him over when we asked to look at the desserts"
"maybe we can bring him home in a doggy bag. i could use a midnight snack"
;)

afterwards, we made an attempt to visit the eldest elkie sis at cosi, but she had already been cut, so we went for a mini-cruise instead. afterwards, got a phone call from mr. mcdonald, so i chilled with him, shannon, and woody... woody's back home from cali on break from his AA bball league recooping from shoulder surgery (talk about a rough break for a pitcher).

got home at like 2:00am, bumped into chris smith and brant in the parking lot, so chatted with them for a while, then came back home to find krystyna is not here. HORRAY for nights alone!

these are a good kind of night. i like these kinds of nights. they really dont happen often enough.

jules was lost in thought at 2:43 AM
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Monday, September 05, 2005

my feet hurt. a lot

physical therapy starts tomorrow morning for my foot. the muscles are still incredibly tight on account of the surgery, and it hurts like a mother.
kinda makes me wonder why i got the surgery in the first place.

jules was lost in thought at 11:21 PM
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work. sleep. drive. work. sleep. work. drive. work.

"all work and no play make homer something something"
"go crazy?"
"don't mind if i do!!"

yeah, so it was a grueling weekend at work. it's kind of ironic that, to celebrate Labor Day, i am working somewhere around 30 hours in 4 days. wow.

so yeah... nothing much else to report. i have been working all weekend, so its not like there was much in the way of excitement in my life. friday night was a good night. got to chill with matt, erin, brad, matt's friend frank, frank's girlfriend (?) kailey, and brad n matt's suitemates TJ and ben... along with other random people. it was a really nice time. other than that, nada in the news.

yeah.....

jules was lost in thought at 3:13 AM
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