i'm coming slow but speeding...

Friday, September 30, 2005

okay sean, here it is. this is the only time i'm going to spell this out for you, so you'd better be all ears.

i miss my friend. yes, that means you, sean.
i hate having to see you at work for two reasons. 1. i hate things being ackward for both of us when we're both working, and 2. because i want to actually talk to you, but its not that easy anymore
i screwed up. i shouldnt have given you that ultimatum.
you screwed up too though.
i am sorry if i made you angry/depressed/etc... but bear in mind what you've done to me. im not saying that justifies it at all. what i AM saying is that we need to stop hurting each other, especially if we care as much as we claim.
i should have brought dave with me to saratoga. maybe then, we could have gotten whatever is between us worked out like normal people would have.
i want to start talking to you again, but i honestly dont know how. im afraid that you're mad at me still, even though i dont even know what to apologize for.
i am trying to stop being so damn stubborn. meet me halfway on this and maybe we can salvage that friendship you told me you cared so much about. i think it's worth the try.

there. i cant think of anything else to say right now. but this has been keeping me up tonight. i'm honestly afraid to work with you this weekend.

if you want to try to be friends again, i am willing to try.

jules was lost in thought at 2:23 AM

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