i'm coming slow but speeding...

Thursday, September 22, 2005

my personal time quota has been suffering greatly. normally, if i need some time in my own head, i would go for a drive for an hour or two. that requires money, and currently all my money is being funneling into my refrigerator. after all, last i checked, food is mildly important.
my class and work schedules leave me little time to relax, and even less time to think. i think i might kill someone (cough krys cough) by the end of this semester.
in the precious few moments of mental solitude i have found walking to classes and speeding to work, i have realized some things. i have not been giving myself enough time for myself. as selfish as that sounds, i have been so busy focusing on school, work, friends, my foot, that i have forgotten to take care of me. what i wouldnt give for one day, just one day free of any responsibilities, where i could fill my tank and just cruise, windows rolled down music playing and me alone.
ive made some quasi-revelations in my head as of late. i've danced around some of them too long, so i'm going to get a few of them off of my chest now. even though it'd be more effective to actually talk this out with the people they're applicable to, i have to take small steps. after all, if you know me at all, you've undoubtedly realized im a very proud girl, even if i try to deny it.

upon more careful consideration, i'm only going to mention the one big thing that's been racking my conscious.

i miss my friend. yes, sean, i'm talking about you. if you are reading this, then i want to reconcile things with you, i just don't know how to at this point...

i realize what i am now to proud to mention... to you
fiona apple "never is a promise"

jules was lost in thought at 2:22 AM

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