i'm coming slow but speeding...

Friday, December 30, 2005

hey, if you're cool, then you'll come visit me at koji tomorrow night.

yeah, tomorrow. new year's eve. i will be working.

and you should come in and get drunk and do a champagne toast with me at midnight (did i mention we have really good chamapgne? yes? okay, just checking)

after all, i'm gonna need someone to kiss when the ball drops, and you can be DAMN sure it aint gonna be one of the bartenders. so come in, get some good drinks (rest assured, i'll hook you up with some), and give me a huge smooch* to kick in the new year!

c'mon. you know you want to.

*smooch not guaranteed, but a pretty safe bet if 1. you're hot, 2. you get me drunk (did i mention i'm allowed to drink at work? i love my job), or 3. we've already kissed at some point.

jules was lost in thought at 2:42 PM
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Look back at 2005...

1. Was 2005 a good year for you? it had its great moments, it had its miserable moments. a lot happened, but then again, nothing at all. it was a year.

2. What was your favorite moment of the year? of many great moments: the random drives with lauren, saratoga, going to the beach in the middle of the night just to watch the stars

3. What was your least favorite moment of the year? the days after saratoga

4. Where were you when 2005 began? i honestly cant remember. not that i was that drunk but i can hardly remember what i did yesterday...

5. Who were you with? again, cant remember

6. Where will you be when 2005 ends? working. yay. if you're cool you'll come visit me :)

7. Who will you be with when 2005 ends? my coworkers, which include ryan, messy, gabby... and of course all the regulars, and anyone awesome enough to spend their new year's in a bar in hartofrd with me... cough subtle hint cough :p

8. Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005? i dont think i made one

9. Do you have a new years resolution for 2006? havent thought about it, but i can think of one i'd rather not divulge here

10. Did you fall in love in 2005? not really. more just reawakened some old feelings

11. If yes, with who? if you have to ask, you'll never know

12. If yes, do they know? he's smart enough to figure that one out

13. Are you still in love with them? .... i'm not "in love" with him, but i still love him. the same way i love all my other friends.

14. Do you regret it? yes and no. it was an experience. that's all you can really chalk it up to in the long run. such is life, ya know?

15. Did you breakup with anyone in 2005? not in the traditional sense of the word

16. Did you make any new friends in 2005? yes, and lost them too

17. Who are your favorite new friends? no favorites... they're all my friends for different good reasons.

18. What was your favorite month of 2005? probably july. i wasnt working because of my foot surgery, but i was still able to enjoy the month. thats not to say july wasnt my least favrotie month too, but it was a memorable month... i digress.

19. Did you travel outside of the US in 2005? no... damn study abraod costing too much >:o

20. How many different states did you travel to in 2005? MA, RI, NY... yeah, boring

21. Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005? not physically, but emotionally, yes

22. Did you miss anybody in the past year? yes

23. What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005? Waiting. fucking hysterical. after all, it has dane fucking cook in it. how could it not be great?!

24. What was your favorite song from 2005? wow... "ghost of you: by MCR, "american car" by mike doughty, "dance dance" by fall out boy, "follow through" by gavin gegraw... i'll stop now.

25. What was your favorite record from 2005? haughty melodic by mike doughty

26. How many concerts did you see in 2005? lets see... 3 DMB, john butler trio, the scream fest... 5 or so

27. Did you have a favorite concert in 2005? july 1st dave matthews band in saratoga

28. did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005? nope. had my moments, but hardly a LOT

29. did you do a lot of drugs in 2005? none

30. How many people did you sleep with in 2005? one. once. i'm such a cheap floozy.

31. Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? yes

33. What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005? nothing worth mentioning and rehashing

34. Did you treat somebody badly in 2005? yes.

35. Did somebody treat you badly in 2005? haha yes. but whether or not they realized it is a completely different story

36. How much money did you spend in 2005? a lot... as far as im concerned, the surgery cost me thousands, since i wasnt working the whole summer

37. What was your proudest moment of 2005? quitting bertucci's. it felt so liberating to give my 2-week notice after almost 4 years in that building. not to say i won't miss it dearly, but im so proud of myself for putting my foot down and saying that enough is enough. oh, and getting my first tattoo and industrial, both of which 1. look great, and 2. made me realize im such a glutton for pain, its ridiculous ;)

38. What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005? too many to rehash. i do a lot of embarrassing things to myself. but they were all goofy-embarrassing. like tripping into that pizza. or accidentally calling former governor john rowlamd a moron to his face. or getting way too drunk at koji on my birthday. or... gah.

39. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? for the 21st, i spent the night with the sisters and lauren. i got drunk, was silly and mixed my poisons (yeah, who in their right mind drinks a glass of wine, a white russian, beer, AND martinis?! moron on the loose)

40. If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change it, what would it be? even if i could go back and change something, i think the end result would still be the same, so my attempts would be futile. better to worry about changing the present, no?

41. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder – happier
Older or wiser - definitely wiser
Thinner or fatter - the same, actually
Richer or poorer - poorer

42. What do you wish you'd done more of? hung out with my friends (see #43)

43. What do you wish you'd done less of? worked. if i hadnt worked as much in the latter part of the year, i would have 1. had time to hang out with my firneds, and 2. done well in school this past fall

44. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? i can't say that type of thing on here!!

45. What are your plans for 2006? kick ass in school. not overwork myself. if i can graduate, then head out to san diego and be an intern at the san diego magazine. get an apartment. be honest with myself and everyone else. get a puppy. actually start going to the gym. make a serious attempt at becoming a model. take care of myself before i have another breakdown. smile more often. yeah, i think thats it.

jules was lost in thought at 2:40 PM
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Friday, December 16, 2005

how do you deal with yourself when you realize you aren't the person you thought you were, and the person you ARE seems really inclined to hurting people?

jules was lost in thought at 2:46 PM
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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Last paper of the year... Of COURSE I'm going to procrastinate. Would you expect anything less from me at this point?

this weekend wasn't particularly exciting, but horribly draining. I worked a full 14 hours between the tucc and koji on sunday. some scheisty shit went down at koji sunday night. we have a particular customer that comes in regularly. she does not have an ID. by CT state law, i cannot serve her a drink. however, since she claims she will be 23 next week, my manager sees no problem with serving her anyway. i stood up to him and told him i am not comfortable taking care fo them, as if we happened to get busted right then, it'd be my job on the line. [gotta love clauses in the law that hold ME, and not the owner respionsible for knowledgeable alcohol service to a guest without proper identification. while they get a fine, and maybe a liquor liscense suspension, I get fired and fined. yay.] well, he told me to trust her, and to serve her anyway, at which point i took my apron off, told him i am not accepting responsibility for that table, and cashed out. there is NO way i am taking the fall for this moron who thinks that you can get away with shit like that.

granted, i feel slightly hypocritical reacting so, since they let me drink there before i was 21... but i work behind a bar, so its perposterous to think that the barflies wouldnt be buying us shots and whatnot. my job pretty much requires me to drink, and they understand that. im not some cute girl that rolls in, boobs about to pop out of my v-neck in 15 degree weaher, making up some story about the DMV needing to mail me an ID card and how its taking months.

but i digress. i refused them service, and the bartender gave me kudos for putting my foot down. owner or no owner telling me to serve them, i have two major rights as a server: i have the right to refuse service to anyone i want, and i have the right to disobey my manager when they try to disobey the law.

small things like that make me think that sometimes connecticut aint so bad after all.

just finished the last paper i need to write for this calendar year. liberation IS. so once i hand in the paper tomorrow, i will keep in elkovich tradition of major (or not-so-major but yay-worthy events) by proclaiming as i leave CLAS..

"ME!! VACATION ME!!"

i love being an elkie.

jules was lost in thought at 2:43 AM
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Thursday, December 08, 2005

we'll keep it short and sweet tonight. i've procrastinated long enough.

i have a six page paper due tomorrow at 4pm. have i started it? of course not. but i had to work tonight, so i had a legit reason... until about 10:30pm, that is. we got our asses handed to us at work tonight. with the U2 concert occuring a block away from us, we were of course expecting to be busy, but DEAR LORD i have never had a busier day on the job. ever. i had a 12-top, along with 5 other tables at the same time. food wasnt coming out. drinks were taking 15 minutes to be made. things were chaotic, to say the very least. after completely forgetting to ring one of my table's food in, a near-nervous breakdown, bashing my piercing in to the point of profuse bleeding, and dropping a tray of 5 martinis, shakers and all, on account of some 20-something ramming me in the ribs with his elbow (nice bruise to go with that one), i walked with $200. not bad for a 6 hour shift on a wednesday night =D

after getting cut and quickly making my exodus from koji, i was wound up from the long shift and 3 red bulls. so, instead of coming back to uconn to write the paper on my energy high, i instead opted to go for a drive down to the waterbury bertucci's to visit chuck. chuck just became engaged.
i should be excited for him. i really should be. one of my good friends finally proposed to his girlfriend of like 7 years, but i cannot feel excited for him for some reason. i think i'm jealous that he's found someone he is so sincerely happy with, which makes me feel like a wicked person.

after leaving waterbury, i headed back towards uconn, with a 2 hour pit-stop in hartford to unwind further with ryan (the other server on the floor tonight during the hellish 4 hours... yay for poor planning with only 2 servers on what was probably the busiest night we've EVER had there). got back to uconn at about 3:30am. way to waste 5 hours of precious writing time, jules.

jules was lost in thought at 4:14 AM
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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

humbug.

why is it that no matter how tired i am at night, i am plagued with insomnia? its rather frustrating when all you want to do is rest your weary head, but your heartbeat is pulsing so fast that it makes your teeth chatter.

as much as i dig this new restaurant, it is bearing heavy on my already frazzled sleep schedule. im not meant to be nocturnal.

bah. 20 minutes ago in bed i couldnt stop thinking about things to blab about, and now that i've sat down in front of the keyboard, i cant think of a damned thing. but thats always how it goes, isnt it though?

i'm two quarters and a heart down
and i don't want to forget how your voice sounds
these words are all i have, so i'll write them
so you need them just to get by
why don't you show me a little bit of spine
you've been saving for his mattress, love?
i only want sympathy in the form of you
crawling into bed with me ~ fall out boy (yes, i'm quoting fall out boy... got an issue?!)

jules was lost in thought at 1:45 AM
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Thursday, December 01, 2005

in the past 2 weeks, we've had thanksgiving break and I TURNED 21

i worked all but two nights during thanksgiving break... no rest for the weary i suppose.

TUESDAY was my 21st birthday. let's see.... i went to dinner with lauren at the Macaroni Grille, where i got a $9 glass of wine to celebrate the occasion... damn server didnt even card me. whats that all about?! :p. after a rushed dinner, we swung by lydia's to pick her up, then were off to the wood n' tap. after a few drinks there, we hit koji.
to be completely frank, the rest of the night is a bit of a blur, but i can tell you that i had about 13 drinks... which is hardly a record breaker for me. we figured out this morning that the mix of wine to start, followed by a white russian (hello heavy cream!) was bad enough, but then throw in the quail eggs i ate at koji, and its no wonder i puked. but such is life on your 21st birthday. i crashed at christa's place in suffield. she was kind enough to help me nurse the horrendous hangover. i called out of work for the first time EVER (note: i have called out of work before, but on account of actual illness, and on doctor's orders. first time on my own accord because i just didnt feel like working)... but after seeing me like that the night before, how could my boss possibly force me to come in?

so here i sit at 2:20 in the am, recalling how only 24 hours ago i was passed out in a meditation room... fittingly it was one of the best nights' sleep ive had in ages. as christa noted "no, that wouldnt have anything at ALL to do with the fact that you were piss drunk, now would it?"

i love my sisters (all three of them).

and on a random note: my newest musical guilty pleasure: "dance, dance" by fall out boy.

i've also rediscovered my love for mike doughty's acoustic sets. i've been listening to "smofe + smang" and his set from the paradise in boston (my first doughty show), and i've become smitten with him all over again.

you are the drinks i drink and keep drinking and fall down stumble
all of the things i think and keep thinking
and fall down, stumble
oh, these tears are bound to fall
i'm no prize for you, no trophy too
keep walking through
and i'm not worth a dime, i'll drag you down
dont waste your time

jules was lost in thought at 2:10 AM
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