i'm coming slow but speeding...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

so here it is, once again.

lying in bed for longer than i can tolerate, i have surrendered to my computer chair in a vain attempt to whittle away at my restlessness. there is little happening in the world right now, or at least in my pathetic quadrant thereof. had it been a weekend, i might still be able to find a gaggle of insomniacs congregated somewhere on campus (most likely drinking away the night, as thats what UConn students seem to do best when they are bored). but, alas, it is a wednesday.

thoughts of sleeping through class have already infiltrated my brain.

maybe i should just drop out of college.

i feel as if i have wasted so much time already holed up in this university which won't even let me express my inner self. i am earning a degree in LIBERAL arts, but all the while feel as though the process is stifling me. my thoughts roll as rampant as the pacific coast on the california shoreline i see only in my imagination, but i must suppress my ideas for fear of being ostracized by my closed-minded peers. they just dont see the same things in the lines of poetry, in the stories of deceit, in the novels about craziness. they need to expand their minds beyond the scope of what they've been spoon-fed all these years by teachers. maybe i'm the close-minded one for thinking that they are close-minded...

so all i am left with is a question mark tattooed on my brain. to go to class or sleep away the day yet again? to sleep now or embrace insomnia for the night?

i think for now i'll embrace the happy medium... bed with a book. whittle away at the big decisions for tomorrow.

jules was lost in thought at 3:26 AM
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Monday, November 14, 2005

as usual, we have the late-night post... horray

this weekend was quite nice
friday: worked at koji as a barback. though the night was atypically slow, it was still fun being behind the bar. rumour has it that they're looking to move me into bartending, which would be fabulous, but we'll see. chilled at ryan's for a bit after work to unwind.

saturday: slept until 2pm (oh lord, was that delicious). bertucci's in the PM. it was a rough night, but then again, when isnt it really? i had a trainee, which slowed me down int he begininning. i was irritable. john was irritable. everyone was irritated. not so much fun, but it can't always be peavhes and cream, ya know? after the shift, lauren and i grabbed a bite to eat to commiserate about the dreadful evening. then i shuffled off to kristen's for a little partying.

sunday: bertucci's in the morning (nothing exciting), koji tonight. as the other server quit without a notice, i ran the floor tonight. with a WHOPPING 4 tables total, i earned double what i made at bertucci's for a quarter the work. w00t.
one of the regulars, whom i've been rather chatty with every night i've worked, decided to give me his number tonight. at first, it seemed a great idea, as we realy hit it off. but the more i think of it, i'm just gonna call him and explain the following: i really dont want to get anything aside from a friendship out of anyone that is a nightly regular at my job. thats just a little too close to an inter-work relationship, which i'm not savvy to anymore. if anything goes even slightly sour, i'll have to deal with seeing him and all of his work buddies every night that i work, and to be frank i'm not down for that shit again. ah well, such is life.

so it's very early on monday morning, and i am exhausted. so, i am going to bed, and that is that.

goodnight, all.

p.s: guilty pleasure song of the past week: "hung up" by madonna (maybe it's just because i hear it like 3 times a night at work, but damned if i dont dig it!)

jules was lost in thought at 2:25 AM
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Friday, November 11, 2005

so i just got back from a VERY long night at work...
then shift itself wasnt that long, as i got in at 8:30 and left at 2am. however, seeing as i am functioning on 3 hours of sleep, even a walk to the fridge is too long.

i made more money tonight in 5 1/2 hours than my paychecks at margarita's and bertucci's for one week combined. HOLY TOLEDO.

yeah, this new job is on the extreme side of awesomeness. for once, i feel like the amount of hard work i put into a job is well worth the efforts. i could get very used to this very quickly.

i'm going to sleep now... i feel like i've actually earned it tonight.

oh, and one more thing: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIR PICKALOT!

jules was lost in thought at 3:03 AM
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Thursday, November 10, 2005

2:08 am. i have procrastinated long and hard on the word i have to accomplish, and it is finally time for me to get cracking. this is my peak hour of creativity.

but there is a problem. (isn't there always though?)

it seems as if iTunes has it out for me. any time i need to push to the grindstone and work without such trite interruptions as, oh, i dont know, THINKING, the mix pulls a shifty trick, as it did tonight. so instead of a non-thought-provoking mix to work by, i am greeted by "i'll back you up" by dmb, "what you want" by the john butler trio, "i saw" by matt nathanson, and to top it all off in perfect ironic style: "crush" by dmb...

well, there goes my motivational streak. i blame this on myself though. i waited until it was WAY too late to start these papers, and now my music mix is punishing me. "ha." it proclaims. "i have the ultimate power over your stream of thought tonight." and i have let it conquer me, as this post has proved. humbug.

this whole chronic procrastination bit is starting to weigh heavy on me. i need to get this work done, or else i can expect not to get any sleep until 24 hours from now, which could prove for a pretty ugly friday. from what i've been hearing, i wont even have time to think, let alone take a breather. perhaps this would be a good time to take stock in Red Bull... from the looks of this past week i'm going to need it. oh well, such is the life of the restaurant worker.

oh good, some mike doughty. now there's some music i can write to without all that silly "thinking" nonsense (please insert the sarcastic voice into the previous sentence). looks like it's time to bust out the techno music and hope for the best.

pray for my sanity, and my drive home from work tomorrow (and by tomorrow, i mean 2am friday morning). it's sure to be a doozie.

jules was lost in thought at 2:21 AM
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Monday, November 07, 2005

the weekend in review:
saturday: car breaks down, luckily in my hometown as opposed to up at uconn. turns out it's just my battery, but that's still $85 that i just dont have. worked at bertucci's. went to dinner with lauren.

sunday: parents were kind enough to help me out with the battery purchase (either in an act of sheer parental kindness or an attempt to get me out of the house). called out of margarita's. first night at the sushi bar. this new restaurant gig is going to be stressful, undoubtedly, but will be well worth it.

so far today: skipping classes because i am drained. whereas on thursday i was burning bright, today i have fizzled out. "burnt out" is an understatement today. getting ready for work at margarita's soon, though i am horribly tempted to call out "sick"... though i do want to go out on a good note there. just as a failsafe.

im not going to attempt to sugar-coat it: i'm too tired and lazy to expound upon anything else.

jules was lost in thought at 1:49 PM
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Friday, November 04, 2005

short and sweet today:
i got the job at koji (for those that don't know, its a chic little sushi and sake bar in the center ofhartford) as a server and bartender. quickest, easiest interview of my life. i suppose it does help to knwo two of the owners, eh?

so after a hellish shift, i gave my two-week notice at margarita's. its time for the big leagues for this girlie.

if you dig sushi, come visit me! if you dont, well, i'll still be at bertucci's too...

jules was lost in thought at 1:21 AM
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