i'm coming slow but speeding...

Thursday, May 19, 2005

as this recovery period continues, i have nothing better to do with my time than reflect what has been going on with my body over the past week. the results are less than pleasing.

~ because of the incessant sitting and lying down, my herniated discs are now flaring up
~ my left ankle is screaming from the strain of carrying my body weight alone
~ my hips are once again misalligned from keeping my leg elevated 90% of the time. 3 months of physical therapy down the drain
~ i'm losing an unhealthy amount of weight because of my waning appetite, which is on account of my lack of movement
~ my underarms are getting chapped from the crutches, but i can't get around without the damn things
~ i now have a constant cramping in my right foot. if i flex my foot down, the top of my foot tightens too much, and the bottom of my foot screams in pain. pointing my foot, the reverse happens. my tendons and muscles are begining to cramp up and break down already from lack of use
~ and to top it all off... i havent had a decent shower in over a week. oh, i can bathe, but if even a drop of water touches those dressings on my foot, i'm kinda screwed. so, its been sponge bath city... w00t!

and my foot still itches.

this is making me wonder whether or not this whole surgery will be worth it in the end. as of right now, i've already thrown away a month of my life for recovery, plus that 3 months of physical therapy wasted... mildly disheartening

i know worse things are happening to people every day. these things are trivial when you put everything into perspective. so all in all, i'm lucky to still have my health, as cliche as it sounds. its just frustrating watching yourself deteriorate, and know you can't do anything about it for the next week.
that's all. i just needed to get out some residual bitchness.
until next time...

jules was lost in thought at 12:47 AM

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